You go Taylors!

All these years, Taylor's Uni has been asking us to do reflection as part of our assignment, they even gave us 10% free marks just so that we would do it, they shouldn't have to since it's suppose to be our personal development. Some people do it for the sake of doing it, some do it coz it free marks, some just don't bother doing it at all. For me, I used to hate doing it, imagine 7 subjects, and each subject requires a personal reflection assignment, workload not enough ke? (Individual assignment + group assignment + reflective learning assignment) x 7 = 21 assignments to hand-in. Though I hated it and didn't see the importance of it back then but nevertheless I placed my whole heart into doing it, slowly reflecting on the lesson based on the questions that were used as guidelines for our reflection.

Fast forward 2 years, and now I finally understand the importance of reflection and I'm really grateful that Taylor's actually forced us to do it. I can see it all coming to use now...

I got this quote from a friend's status update who in return quoted his lecturer ''Experience doesn't make you stronger, wise and smarter. Reflection does.'' So true man..so true..

What would it be like to be blind?

I think most of us are guilty for saying "oh, I don't really see the face, it's the heart that matters." , but how many times do we really see a person for their heart and not their faces? Like it or not, we do see people at face value; and if you have a pleasant looking face somehow half the battle is done for you. For example, if a pretty looking girl were to suddenly come up to you and ask you for your phone number, you are more likely to give her your number; but if someone who has a disfigured face were to approach you and ask you for your number, I think most of us would hesitate to give out our numbers.

So, back to the question, how many times do we really see a person for their hearts and not their faces? Because the face is what we see before we are willing to give the heart a chance. And then I thought, being blind has it's benefits too, because I think the blind see much more clearer than we who have sight. They "see" the true heart of a person. To the blind, the social world is equal (for the people who approach them). They don't give chances just because you are pretty/ handsome, and they get to know you for you. I don't see it as the blind has to accept whoever that comes their way just because they are handicap and if they don't accept them then nobody wants them, but how I look at it is that they genuinely get to know you for who you really are inside without prejudice or judgement based on physical appearance.

I appreciate my ability to see and am grateful for it (though my eyesight isn't perfect), but sometimes I wonder, what would it be like to be blind for a day?  To be able to feel the love of the people who help you on your journey, the love of your family, things which we take for granted; and to get to know people for who they really are, and I suppose people could really be themselves around blind people coz the blind is not gonna frown at your fully tattooed body, or frown at you for being dressed like a prostitute. To the blind, we are all humans who have needs and deserve to be loved and be heard. I believe it would be a wonderful experience to see people through the eyes of a blind person.

Haih...very naive of me I must admit, to think that being blind is all that wonderful, I'm pretty sure they would trade all the money in the world to regain their sight...all the hardships they go through....I just wish that people or for that matter, myself, could be blind to physical appearance or to skin colour, but somehow i think it's kindda impossible to do unless you're completely blind -.- WORLD Y U SO COMPLICATED!!!   

Off the bucket list!

Running a marathon is off the bucket list! Though it's only 10km (maybe i'll join a full marathon one day) but it's still an achievement to me. I've never ran 10km before, but after this experience, 10k isn't so hard after all. I'm usually the person who chooses to sleep in instead of going for morning walks with my mother..so being able to achieve this is a fantastic feeling. My main goal of this race was to win a finisher's medal...I was in only for the medal. Nothing else. I'm glad I managed to finish the race within the stipulated time or else all my training would be sort of wasted. So my next goal would be to finish better than my current timing if I were to join another marathon.

It's amazing what the body can do, and sometimes it all just boils down to mental fitness. If you think you can finish, you can..it's whether the brain is willing or not. I think the environment helps too, seeing other runners run, it's like peer pressure making you wanna run too..I've never ran so much in my life...even when I was training, the most was just running 1.5km continuously....today was epic.. No wonder people say if you train, train with other people. I think it helps give you motivation. So yea another item off my bucket list all thanks to Houyi who invited me to join in this for FREE!! coz her company was the sponsor for the event.

  

On another note, I can't help thinking that my puppy came out from a comic book. How to be angry at this rascal la? He drives me up the wall, yet when you scold him, he gives you the most sorrowful eyes...

I learnt something today.. Something that was repeated so many times, came across numerous times, read about countless of times, but nothing beats experiencing it for my own.

We will never really know what a person has gone through and sometimes little actions that seemed so insignificant to you speaks volumes to the other person who receives it, and I'm glad she acknowledged it and told me. I never knew just acknowledging what she said spoke volumes to her and impacted her, which leads to opening up of other things in our lives. I don't find it easy to share my personal problems, but one thing leads to another and we confided in each other, all because she said "thank you" for something I deemed insignificant. The wonders of how God works... 

That being said.. People may look fine on the outside, but you don't know what goes on deep down in their hearts. We are all great actors and actresses on a stage, and it feels good to be able to remove that mask and just be yourself. 

It's interesting reading back the past entries of this blog, the things I have written over the years since high school times. I must admit that the tone of the entries changes over time from the transition of high school into University, but then it's intriguing seeing how I was motivated for a while and then I fall back into the old self and then being motivated again and then back to the old self, exactly like a cycle. If I were to draw a chart of the times I was motivated and then down again....the chart would pretty much look like the heart beat monitor...humans can never stay motivated for a long period of time eh? 

Random thought

I really admire people who are able to put themselves in the shoes of other people. The ability to empathize at any given situation or circumstances straight away, as if it's their way of life is indeed a great feat, because I know my first reaction is to judge and then only to think.. By the time I rationalize and think, it's already too late. Words has been said, actions has been done. It's something I gotta work on.. 

So a few weeks ago I came across this blogger named Timothy Tiah (founder of Nuffnag) where he blogged about his wife's car was banged by a taxi driver (taxi driver's fault for driving too close) so he was mentioning that he rushed to the scene to rescue his wife and upon seeing the taxi uncle his heart soften. He knew that this uncle has a family to feed at home, earning a living through driving a taxi. Not that he knew this uncle personally but he was able to empathize, so instead of asking the uncle to pay for the damages (which was rightfully his fault) he paid the uncle for his taxi's damages even though the uncle was rude and asking for such a high compensation when the uncle was in the wrong. He managed to reduce the amount to RM 200 in the end. Tim could very well have just lodge a report and save the hassle of even paying or arguing with this uncle, but he chose to help the uncle. 

If I was in that situation, I don't think I would have the ability empathize on the spot. I would probably have argued my way through gritted teeth because it is after all my right of way. I wouldn't have had the same thought process he went through....Reading his story really inspires me :) Put yourself in that exact situation, how would you have reacted? I suppose there are no right or wrong answers, coz we make our decisions based on our background and past experiences, maybe some of us has been cheated before, maybe some of us are tired of being the "good guy" coz "good guys" are "stupid guys"... Shit happens but I think it doesn't hurt to do some random act of kindness, even if you were cheated. Coz ultimately God sees the heart and the intentions that you harbor, and well if you're cheated just be wiser next time, and the person who cheated you, probably needed the money more than you do.. 

Busy Busy Busy

September is gonna be the craziest month of the year! Even though I've stopped work, but the day I stop work marks the day the roller coaster ride starts >.<

13th - Meeting for CIP/Briefing for CIP/Briefing for Running Man
14th - Execution of Running Man
15th - CIP Day 1 - Sepang
16th - Shopping for BBQ CIP Day 3
17th - CIP Day 2 - Sepang
18th - CIP Day 3 - Sepang + BBQ
19th - TFM Meet & Greet
20th - Fly off to Kedah for ROS
21st - 24th - SMK Merbok, Kedah
25th - Interview with MOE
27th - Myanmar Refugee

and there goes my month of September...won't be seeing much of my family this month I guess =/ BRACE YOURSELF TO FACE THE MUSIC~

Last day of work!

It's been a month, only a month but I've learned so much. Most people think waitressing is a brainless job, a job in which people do when they can't study well; but I beg to differ. It's not a brainless job, or a job that has "nothing-much-to-learn", no doubt the job includes a lot of manual labor but I've learned a fair deal about the people I work with, the management and building my character.

Having some working experience previously while doing my internships in the hotel, I've witness people treating Banglas, Nepalese and Burmese as second class citizens. As if they weren't worth our time and we shouldn't be "associating" ourselves with them, so most of the time, these people were just greeted with a polite smile and that's it.  Working at Peruvie, I got the opportunity to work along side Nepalese, Burmese and Filipinos and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to know these people as people was an eye opening experience. So many times we overlook them because these were the people who does all the jobs we Malaysians don't want to do or known for their cheap labor; but if we open our sepet eyes, they are humans just as we are, who also has needs but are born into undesirable circumstances and due to that, deprived of opportunity as well. During the 1 month, I got to know my colleagues personally. How far they traveled, their nieces and nephews, their families, their own business back home and I thought to myself, they lead such interesting lives. They have a farm!! With pigs, goats, cows, chickens and everything. I got to know about their culture, and how they were so surprised that I'm not married yet at this age, most of them got married when they were 20, and they can't get a divorce or they will be look down upon. It's also interesting to know that half a month's salary in Malaysia could feed their families for 3 months! And so I joked that they would be millionaires when they return home one day ;) I have a sort of admiration for them, here they earn a mere RM 1,600 a month and yet it's enough to sustain them, and yet here I am complaining that RM 2,000 isn't enough to do anything at all...it all boils down to priorities I guess and so it thought me to think of how I'm spending my money and my priorities and to think of the many people living in the city with meager salaries and yet still needing to support families. It taught me to be grateful with what I have and that my family do not depend on me to put food on the table but in fact it's the other way round. These colleagues of mine, though they do not have much in possessions, but they have a BIG heart and they show their love and kindness in their own little ways. For example, they would leave aside a small bowl of food for me just in case the food was finished by the time I come in for work; or would reserve the body part of the fish for me as according to him, girls shouldn't be eating fish heads coz apparently it's bad for pregnancy. (Staff meals served there are usually of the useless parts of fish, basically meals there are very simple. Rice and egg/ rice and fried fish thats it.) The little thoughts count and I was touched by that small act of kindness that they showed me. It taught me that giving, no matter how small can bring a tremendous effect on the receiver.

This experience also thought me a lot about integrity. They are many tricks that the F&B people do to unsuspecting customers, and it has taught me to guard my heart and to know the intentions behind my actions.So many times, I caught myself doing things simply just because I want to go home fast and so many times my conscience would get the better of me and make known to me who I owe my KPI to so that I do my job whole heartedly. So yea, it's this constant awareness that I go through each day that builds my character. I should probably share this. I was naughty one day, I decided to steal a tip that the guest left behind (we were suppose to put tips in a box so that at the end of the month, it gets distributed to everybody, but unfortunately everybody does not include part-timers) so since tips only goes to full-timers, I thought what the heck, why should I work so hard and they get all the tips? So unfair! and so I put the RM 1 inside my pocket instead of the box. I worked through the night and when it was time to go home, I reached into my pocket and realized that the money is gone. That right there was a like literal slap across my face and the lesson came in a form of a RM 1 note. "money is the root of all evil" and it taught me that if I steal RM 1 today, I would steal RM 5 the next, and I would get so greedy about money that God knows what I'll do, so it taught me to earn my keep and what is not meant to be ours, let it be.

Lessons can be found everywhere and anywhere, and it's up to us if we want to pick it up. You can place a person in a place where there is "so much to learn" but if he/she refuses to take the lesson then what is there to learn? So waitressing is not a brainless job where there is nothing to learn, the question is more: Are you willing to learn?    

The Little Prince

 

This was a book that my primary school teacher recommended us to read back when I was in Standard 6. Back then I was sort of forced to buy the book and I can still remember how books were so expensive back then. I think this book was RM 25 with dual language (Chinese & English) and comes with pictures and colours. As a 12 year old with no interest in reading any books, I delight my self in seeing the pictures and place the book in my book shelf in which it has sat there for 10 years now. Yesterday, I finally opened up the book to read because I remembered my teacher said that this book is an insightful book, that regardless of what age you read it and how many times you read it, it reveals something to you, and for that she calls it a Good Book.

The book has only 64 pages, very easy to read. It's interesting how the author thinks very highly of children. That kids are creative, open-minded and always inquisitive of their surroundings; how adults are dull, superficial, narrow-minded, stuck in their ways and quick to pass judgement. How the author has to "lower himself" to the level of adults and talk to them about business, money and golf.  Come to think of it, the author does have a point. How grown ups surround themselves with work, constantly rushing here and there without somewhat of a purpose that they lost the inquisitiveness in them and accept things as it is. 

 

The book talks about relationships, on how we relate to other people. Taking the example of the rose in the book, there are thousands of roses on Earth but in the Prince's planet, there is only 1 rose, and so he thought the rose is very special and took extremely good care of it. When he saw the thousands of roses on earth, he though he no longer posses something that is unique anymore since roses are available in abundance on earth. However it is because he took care of his own rose back home that he created a special and unique relationship with the flower, whereas on earth, nobody actually cared about the roses. "People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for...  And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose" I suppose it's trying to say invest your time into people, into relationships, and that relationship will be unique in all the world, otherwise the people in your life will be like the multitudes of people in the world, them having no need of you and vice versa.

 

I think I'm gonna have to read this book one more time. I read it the first time just merely going through the words without reflecting on what it means. Reading it in that manner is just like reading a story book with no meaning to it, in fact it was quite hard to understand though the words were simple.It's like, what does it mean? Maybe coz I'm a grown up and I've become dull and that's why I don't understand any of it. Gonna keep this book for reading it in the future.

Best Friends

It's been a while that my student has been posting several angry post targeted to her friends in school, saying that they don't share secrets with her anymore, that they have changed and she doesn't feel like she is their best friend anymore. Reading all her angry post, brings me nostalgic memories of me in my younger days, where I was once in that exact same position, back when "best friends" was of utmost importance. I really felt like reaching out to her, to tell her that friends aren't determined by the number of secrets that you share with each other and that friends like that are maybe not worth having too. Unhealthy friends that gossips and that pulls other people down. That being popular and having a lot of friends is not the only way to go, that having a small group of friends who are there for you through thick and thin is better than having a hundred friends but none who would stick by you. I want to tell her all these things, yet I have to understand that at her tender age, this is of importance to her. It's not important to me, but it is to her, that to feel accepted and to feel belonged = to have lots of friends. I used to remember a time where I use to rank all my friends. Best friend, Great friend, Good friend and Friend; but as I grow older, I don't see the need to rank friends. So I don't have a Best Friend nor do I have a Great Friend, everyone is a friend, each awesome in their own unique way, no one out beating another friend. In fact "best friend" has a totally opposite meaning to me now. Best friend is now used for people who are pretty anal to you, for example your really anal boss who is always in your face, so when she come down the hall you say: "eh, your best friend is coming" So yea. Please don't misunderstand me my dear friends who reads my blog, it's not that you're not good enough to be my best friend or whatsoever, it's more like I don't see the need to give a title to it because every single one of you is important to me, unique and awesome in your own special way. And through the years, I found out who my true friends were. Like a statement a wise friend told me "having a handful of true friends is better than having a hundred friends who wouldn't bat an eyelash for you if something were to happen to you" Though I may not live a life of a socialite (I don't have many friends, so if I say I'm going out with high school friends...well it's always the same people...very predictable who I'm out with.) but I thank God for placing such fantastic friends around me. Borrowing me laptop when mine kena stolen, accompanying me to the police station in the wee hours of the morning, offering me a ride when my car broke down even though it was out of her way, offering me transport to the airport, offering up their house for me to stay when they know i'm home alone, offer me full accommodation + transport in Australia HAHAHAHAHAHA ...where la to find friends like these? Sometimes I even wonder, what have I done to ever deserve such friends...I'm grateful for each and everyone of you =) And to think of last time, I yearned to be accepted and be popular, to have many friends only to find out that well...it isn't so important after all. Bottom line, it's quality and not quantity that matters. I've definitely came a long way and I hope for my little student that she would let go, move on and 10 years down the road she would be laughing at history. I finally reached out to her and I hope my words encourages her =)      

Ever since working at Peruvie, I've seen many familiar faces coming through the door. Just today I saw the security manager of Le Meridien dining in at Penang Village, and yesterday I saw my primary school teachers dining in at Peruvie. It's funny and yet very touching that the teachers who taught me in primary school 10+ years back could remember me. She can't remember my name but she was like "eh you don't remember us already ar? Just walk right pass us?" that time I was just coming in for work so yea was so focused in getting my card punched I didn't look at faces of the guest dining in at the restaurant. But what really touched me was she remembered my face despite so many years, either my face hasn't change or well.. I think my face didn't change -.-'' looks like years of waiting at the car park daily for Mrs. Wang to arrive and help her carry books paid off :) she remembered Wei Mei too lol we were the Wei Mae/Mei's back in primary school. Basically inseparable yet constantly always fighting with each other don't-friend-you style. We were like her pet students, we get free milk though we weren't on the milk program, get lighter canings :p and getting well, treated nicer hahaha bias but true. Mrs. Wang was there with my form teacher then Ms Tan, my classmate and her mother. Ah.. How much we have all grown, that particular classmate who was present that day was the one we had a lot of drama with too last time, but as we spoke yesterday, we shared a moment of laughter at how childish we were back then. She has grown up quite well, gorgeous too and going to be pursuing her Masters, makes me wonder what the heck I'm doing with my life.. Why I no like to study? Honestly I'm just afraid of research that's all hahaha. 

Anyway, yea I feel touched everytime someone I barely know recognizes me coz it's always been the other way round in my life. I know them but they don't know me. So eventually when I see people I know but I don't think they would know me I would run and hide, coz it would be awkward right, saying hi and then they say "who are you?" -.-" seeing people I know in the restaurant really boost my motivation and then I get hyper to the point my colleagues thinks I'm crazy -.- but well I think they secretly like it coz I work faster lol so.. Pay me a visit will ya? I know my boss will thank you ;)

The happiest 5k

It's an outdated post, was suppose to post it up on Sunday itself, but well well procrastination got the better of me. *as usual*  Anyway, got up at 5.30am just to go for this event, and honestly because I'm working part time now and my shift ends at 11-ish, the only motivation I had to wake up for this was the fact that I had paid RM 75 for it. 

I thought it was worth it, for the experience but it would be better if I went with a bigger bunch of friends and of course stayed til the event actually finished because 17th Aug seems to be good Feng Shui day where events tend to clash -.- 

The before picture, where we r still clean and white:

Took a picture of Tugu Negara, since it was like forever since I last went there. More than 10 years I guess. 

The multitudes of people getting splashed by colored corn starch haha the reason why there was a human traffic coz people just lie in the middle of the road taking selfies and group photos. A little inconsiderate and dangerous, I mean what if people were really running. Gone liao..

Didn't take much photos since my phone is of obsolete technology + no front camera. I'm surprise my phone could even take jump shots. *clap hands for phone* my friend and I both left the place right after we crossed the finished line and headed straight for the LRT station at 9.30am. Came home to find out my face looks hideous, as if I was punched and blood was streaking down on my face -.- I mean some people came out of the run whole face covered with colour, I was still pretty white, and so my face was not here nor there so I basically look like a freak show. I could suddenly understand all the weird stares I got while traveling back. Mandi kerbau and straight away went to meet up with my Uni mates for brunch since Wenyi just came back for a holiday from Singapore :) 

Looks like after degree, we will never get to have a picture with the complete 9 of us anymore, all of us have gone on different paths. The funny thing? Half of us left the hospitality industry. Some went into banking, one went to health care and one went into education ;) like what the hell are we doing with our lives??! 

Anyway it was a great day catching up, getting lost in the carpark and being so pooped out by evening time. My mum was like "tired leh~ so many activitites in a day" thank God I got an off day on Sunday. Otherwise GG.com my mum summore wanted me to go play table tennis.. Mum? You cray cray? 

Been having a lot of hectic weekends. I get more rest on weekdays than on weekends -.-" 

Words, I realized have weight. So often we spew out words in our daily conversations like its weightless. Until relationships starts to break down, that we have to cautiously weigh our words, as if the weight if the words previously spoken has suddenly decided to come and visit and now the weighing scale has to be introduced to weigh every single word to build instead of to destroy the already cracked relationship. 

Sometimes I think people who are slow to speak and quick to listen are the wisest people ;) 

I didn't shed a single tear. I must be heartless. I think it's because the ohm is gone especially when I keep getting distracted and all the emotions from the previous chapter were lost in transition -.- but nevertheless, i thought it was a good book that gave me a different perspective of looking at things.

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”

I find this statement very true..and we often do want to leave a legacy, to leave a mark on this world, but then when you leave the world, you hurt so many people. What surprised me was the perspective Gus had viewed Hazel, that though she did not love widely, but she loved deeply and in that she hurt less people which is heroic in it's own way. 

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”

And as quoted by Bob Marley " Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for"

“What a slut time is. She screws everybody.”

 Yes she does. Yes she does..

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Too often we live a life thinking that "death" is impossible, waking up the next day is an expectation and not a blessing to live another day. We avoid the topic of "death", avoid books/movies that talks about it; but unfortunately death is something we all got to face sooner or later, and if we knew our days were numbered, would we do certain things differently today? 

It's sad how loved ones are so shy and courteous around us, with every action which is expected from us is greeted with a thank you, or doing something on their own even though they are weak because they are shy to get us to do it for them...it hurts to see them being so courteous. 

On the other hand, it's sad how we take people for granted too.. Same task, but depending on different person, the willingness defers too.. Why are we so willing to do something for a stranger/ a friend, yet when our parents ask us to do it, we murmur or we don't do it at all? 

Cherish and appreciate your loved ones while you can.

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My grandparent came to KL for a visit yesterday, and this morning, we took them to the Kiara Park in Taman Tun. We didn't go there to exercise like we normally do, but we just went there to have a stroll. Taking my grandparents there and seeing them being fascinated by nature really made me realize how we take things around us for granted A LOT. We stood by the pond as they marveled at how many tortoise there were in the pond and how many fishes there were. And my mum laughed at their reaction and said "it's like when you were younger like that" and that brought me to realize how busy we are with our own fast paced life that we forgot to take a step back and admire the beauty of the things around us. And I don't 'blame' my grandparents for reacting that way, because I know if I were to stop and admire the beauty of the park, I would react the same way too. It's fun to sometimes observe kids when they are in the park. So carefree, fascinated by the simple things in life, chasing the pegeons, catching tadpoles, fascinated by the birds/monkeys in the park. Everything is new to them.. 

Of armpit hair and growing up

I remember in my younger days, I used to stare up at my dad's armpits, point and exclaim "yer! Dad! Your armpit got hair! So disgusting! Why men got armpit hair wan? Luckily we girls don't have, see? Mummy's one don't have" 

My mum tried to look innocent as my dad laughed but since I was searching for an answer, my mum had no choice but to answer me. "actually mummy also got, but I shave" Jeng Jeng Jeng... My world has fallen apart *drama queen* how could beautiful, dainty women have body hair??!! I cannot accept it. (I really felt that way that time, disappointed) 

And now, I'm all grown up. Mum and dad was right... And I always remember this small little episode when I do my womanly business ;) it's unfair how my second brother does not have armpit hair. He's a man! How come la I inherited more male genes? I'm suppose to be a girl T.T My brother and I should totally switch roles ;)

His days are numbered...

Milo's days are numbered...I can sense it. He is getting sick ever so often. Most of the time, we forget that dogs too have a life span and they don't live forever. I still remember 10 years ago when Milo, a stray then, came into our house to take refuge, he was sleeping behind our piano. He was so afraid that it took a lot of persuasion and coaxing to lure him out of his hiding place. he finally did and we gave him the name Milo cause we thought he looked like the dog in the movie "The Mask" (He turned out to be a little too big for the same dog in the movie) and now 10 years later, he is now 70 dog years old. It hurts to see him in pain, and now that he is sick, tends to manja with us when we are around, much to my surprise very much like humans beings too..

Little Milo came in as a puppy, and he likes to sit on our laps for some reason and would fit perfectly well then, and up til today when he is too huge for my little lap, he still somehow wants to try to fit his huge ass on our laps.

He soon became a teenage dog, he caught up real fast in age...I was in my teenage years too!

And soon after that, became a handsome dog with such character. 

Some of his famous acts includes barking at strangers ONLY when we are watching (otherwise he would sleep through his duty), squirrels literally dance and played in front of him while he slept, playing hide and seek around the car when we need to tie him up to reverse the car in the porch, posing for pictures only when there is food, greeting everyone else in the family except me (i'm his last resort), taking us for walks instead of us taking him for a walk and the list goes on...

But though he is cheeky, he is still a pretty much good dog. He could sense that you are angry and listen to your command, he wouldn't go beyond our front door to enter into house coz he knows he is not allowed to, He still manja with us especially when we sit with him and play with him after dinner, he plays fetch with us, and sometimes gives a big sigh when we kacau him when he sleeps.

It was a great 10 years living with this little mongrel, looking forward to return home everyday to see him though he sometimes doesn't really care to greet me =/ but yes, he was the best guard dog ever, somehow being home alone wasn't that scary because he is around, and perhaps maybe even how many crimes has been prevented because he was there.

Though I wish he could live a longer life or even life forever, but if he is called home to be with the Lord tomorrow or anywhere near in the future, then so be it. He has served his purpose on earth to have given us such joy, love and protection over these 10 years. He will be gone but never forgotten and will be dearly missed by us. He is not gone yet, but this is how I want to remember my cheeky and nonchalant dog. Right now all we can do is to comfort him and hopefully his misery wouldn't seem so bad.  

Just some random thoughts

Words, can be used to encourage but at the same time can also put a person down. Words are dangerous... But sometimes though words might hurt like a piercing knife but it could make you a better person, just like a scalpel a surgeon uses in surgery. After the surgery, the person gets better. 

I realized something about myself. Many a times where situations would require of me to say something, I would bite my tongue and hold back. Most of the time I sugar coat them, afraid I would hurt the other person, and of course would worry what would the other person think of me? But then again, I hurt people everyday in my daily conversations without even realizing... Its so contradicting, scared to hurt people yet hurting people everyday.. How frustrating. Sometimes it makes me wonder if things would be different if I voiced out my opinions when a person consults me for an opinion.. It takes courage to give constructive criticism, or maybe it's just me..I'm a softy at heart :/ some people could just whip it. 

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I have to admit, social media gets a bit addictive. There is this urge to constantly want to post something for the world to see. I felt that urge before, but i successfully suppressed it. Why I'm suddenly thinking of this? Well coz I caught myself envying people on social media, thinking of all the wonderful post that other people are posting on social media. Its no wonder why some people get depressed by going on social media because they keep comparing the lives of others to their own. I didnt get depressed, but I caught myself comparing their lives with my own. Pretty stupid huh? Yeah I thought so too. This was what I saw today while I stalked someone on Facebook. (yes I stalked this one because I was shocked by her transformation from our high school days and now she is a model.. Why so many people become model suddenly?) I saw some really gorgeous photos, she was/is really pretty and her make up really enhanced her beauty, and I was thinking how I would look like if I had that much make up on, would I look as stunning? And then I saw her other photos, of her leading a glamorous lifestyle with pretty clothes, cute guys, lavish restaurant, clubs etc. I couldn't help but to imagine all the drama that came with that (maybe there isn't any drama but heh stereotyping here :p) and this was where I caught myself. Photos on social media only highlights the good happy part of people's lives, but you don't know what they go though each day. Perhaps they have their own problems, but are those captured in the photos? Nope... And there people are comparing their lives to the lives of others on social media without considering the factor that these people on social media have their own set of problems too; and if I envied people on social media, I'm pretty sure there are others who also compare their lives to those on social media. Well the thing is to stop comparing and take a step back and appreciate the things that you already have. I'm pretty happy with what I have and am grateful for a loving family, wonderful friends from high school and Uni who always got my back :) and soon to be embarking on a meaningful journey of making a difference in the lives of teens. So.. Is the clubbing + lavish lifestyle something I would like? Would that make me any happier? Nah... I'm good living a "boring" life. It's only boring to the world afterall but its sure as hell happening to me!! Heh heh.. Sometime all it takes is to ask yourself a few questions.. Evaluate a bit and then you're fine :) Dont compare your lives with others as they too have their set of problems to face. 

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Please don't mind me, I'm too lazy to write in a diary, typing is much faster and the fonts are nicer ;) can't stand my own handwriting sometimes.. This is my therapy session where I release thoughts which are going on in my head. Hopefully one day I will look back and scoff at the things I write or maybe marvel at the maturity I have at a young age :p *wishful thinkings* 

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11:17pm 

Just read through some of my old postings.. My gosh, I was so childish -.-" didn't know I had a temper. From the way I portrayed it back then, I think I had the bitch face. So Hen Yu, you were wondering what a bitch face looked like? You've probably seen it years ago on my face ;) 

I'm having withdrawal symptoms frm Australia

I'm dedicating this post to 2 of my dear friends Mr. Hen and Mr. Lee. I believe these 2 individuals still faithfully reads my blog, but even if they don't; let the whole world know how awesome these 2 gentlemen are :) what they deserve are more than words but what I can do is only to show gratitude through my humble little blog. My dear friends, I sincerely apologize as I am not very good with words, but what is written here is from the bottom of my heart <3

Instead of blogging about my trip to Melbourne and Brisbane, I wanna blog about the people who showed me true hospitality and through their actions, inspired me to be a better person, not only in terms of their direct actions towards me but also through observing their communication and relationship with the people around them. It made me evaluate my life and go "if that ever happens to me, I wanna be like that!" you guys truly inspire me with your actions and the relationship you share with your families. 

First and foremost, thank you to the both of you for offering me your Limousine to ride on and the 5 star accommodation that you guys provided me. You may think that i'm exaggerating, but to me that's exactly what it was in my heart and it was more than sufficient. 

Thank you for being patient with me, i know you guys wake up really late every day, but just to accommodate me, wake up early to go traveling. The funniest thing? The both of you prefer to stay at home over traveling, yet the both of you endured almost the whole day out traveling in the cold with me lol. Lastly, thank you for accompanying me, sacrificing your time, visiting places you've already visited with ur respective families and friends. It must have been really boring for you.  Oh and also being patient with me when I got lost in the airport (Teck) and lost in the city leading (Hen) to walk extra miles. *i was testing you to see if you know where you are!*

The both of you, knowing that I have a budget, refuse to accept my money to pay for what I should be paying for. *please let me pay or I'll chop your kukubird!* I'm sorry if I made you a bankrupt :( Thank you for that kind gesture.

Thank you for the fun times we had playing Monopoly deal and just hanging around in the room after a long day's trip. I really enjoyed those moments, watching TV and YouTube on TV like woot?! Great times :) *snatching blankets ahem!* 

There's nothing more unique than the friendship that these 2 guys share. Never a dull moment when you're with them. From baseless conversations to inside jokes that they play on strangers who approached us on the streets.. Epic face palm moments, but that is also what made them special. Why so serious right?! Good friends who serve each other, but while serving are actually serving each other to a dose of suffering; offering to belanja the other party chicken wings, but to the spiciest chicken wings ever known to mankind... Belanja-ing to see the other suffer...You don't see this kind of interaction everyday lol. Driving each other up the wall, yet still accommodating and kind to each other. LOL I love the sentence "if I was Hen Yu would you do it for me?" *inside joke heh heh heh*

I'm sorry if I mafan u guys, fetching me to and fro from the airport, my sudden extended stay, and well...basically bringing me around, bringing ur daily activities to a halt. I really had fun, and am suffering from withdrawal symptoms from the trip. It is that kind of bond you get only from going on a trip together and staying together :/ but oh well, you're right Hen Yu, it's back to reality. 

Okays, so you might think I'm faking it all saying all these things, but well, I can't change what you think, all I can say is whatever I said above is true and hopefully u can feel my sincerity.

Till we meet again :) and hopefully by then I would be able to repay what you guys have done for me. 

Random post

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

I am a firm believer of this verse in the Bible, and if somebody were to ask me what my mantra would be, well.. this would be one of it :) 

I started serving actively in church when I was 17, the year of SPM and ever since then, I see the grace of God upon my life and well... upon my academic achievements until this very day. And one thing bizarre about it is, I don't actually deserve those results and my results has to be so coincidental that it ngam ngam passes borderline to be part of the cream of the crop. I'm definitely not the creme de la creme but the bottom of the cream, that if the school were to suddenly arrange for a re-mark, my results would be so at stake, that the 0.01 mark makes all that difference. That has been my story in my Diploma days and also in my Bachelor's Degree days. I know I don't deserve it, and I can tell from the amount of effort that I put in but yet by the grace of God, I manage to pull through, to enjoy the extra perks the creams enjoy. 

Some people might think, what's the big deal? In the end it's still an A, why are you complaining whether its a borderline A or not? An A is an A.. But well, pride sometimes get in the way, to think of one self as highly esteemed that even if there was a re-mark, there is so much leeway that at the end of the day, the A is still safely secured in the hands of the beholder. And maybe that is why my case is unique.. Perhaps it was God's way of keeping me humble, because I know I don't deserve it, but the Lord gave it to me. So I praise and thank god that I managed to get yet another borderline pass in my degree :) and though results aren't everything in the working world and probably no one would ever ask apart from your first job interview, I have to agree that it does gives a person a little advantage and perks and I'm grateful for that :) thank you Lord. 

5 down..and a little over 30 more to go..

Well so during the duration of my bumming around, I managed to finish the Divergent trilogy. It was a good read, at least for the first and second book, by the time I got to the 3rd book, I thought it was a bit too draggy, uprising after another uprising and it gets tiring....like get on with the story already!! But still, overall a good read =) with a very unexpected ending. In comparison with Hunger Games Trilogy? Well I would say it is totally different..apart from the uprising part. In terms of storyline, I like Hunger Games better, it kept me on the edge wanting to read on until i finish the book; nonetheless, Divergent Trilogy was also entertaining. Reading a book is like watching a whole movie..just that instead of watching a movie for 2 hours it like "watching" a movie for a whole day. Took me 4 days to finish the series.

I can't believe I have so much books that I have yet to read...it's like how on earth am I suppose to finish reading all 30+ books? That's what happens when you are a hoarder. I just like to hoard books. I blame BB1M vouchers and cheap books. With the rate at which I'm reading, I think I don't have to buy books for the next 5 years or so...but how? Big Bad Wolf book sales are just too tempting...irresistible to the point it kick starts my kiasu-ness -.-'' Like i just gotta get them all *pokemon* hee hee    

Nerd mode on!

My book loot for 2014! 19 books for the price of RM 250! (well maybe extra RM 15) thanks to BB1M basically it's RM 15 for 19 books :p not bad.. 

Bought a lot of series this time round and finally found the series I've been looking for for a long time now: A series of unfortunate events by Lemony Snicket. Bought it for like RM 10/ book *gasp*

So, this is my stash:

- 5 x a series of unfortunate events

- 4 x daughters of the moon

- 3 x Divergent (trilogy) *heard its something like hunger games so I thought might as well give it a go.*

- 2 x Agatha Christie's mystery books *read quite a lot about her in fictional books so when I saw it, I thought why not give it a try*

- Good self, Bad self (self-help book)

- leading on a limp (another self-help book)

- Leap! ( yet another self-help book heheh)

- body language (always wanted to learn about this)

- Tuesdays with Morrie (read reviews that it is a good motivational book)

- the Family Way by Tony Parsons 

I've got way too much books to read now :D from my last year's stash from BB1M 2013 + books from the Big Bad Wolf Sale 2013. I don't have to touch my drama stash for a while now. Just stay in bed and read away! B)

Baking

Baking has taught me about patience + love. You really need to bake out of love and patience to produce these sweet decadents. Why baking has taught me patience? Well because baking requires a lot of attention to details, and in order for the final product to come out looking decent enough, well we need to have patience in decorating it. Doing the first 2 layers of deco is simple enough, but the whole cake? Well THAT takes patience. What about love? Yea you can't just bake something hastily, it's not gonna come out tasty nor decent looking, so if u wanna bake something nice, bake it out of love. Committing ur time and dedication to creating a final product that is perfect. One more thing that baking has taught me... Perseverance. I have still yet to master the skill of making macaroons! I've failed 3 times already! But I'm still gonna try to make it, til I get it right. Just you wait! I'm gonna dedicate a post just for my macaroons! 

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Something to take off my bucket list ^^ Skytrex - checked! 

Next on my list:

Bungee jumping 

Skydiving 

Ball orbing 

To sum up the week

It has been another eventful week, and I'm surprised that even when I'm not working, time pass super fast as well. 

This week's highlights:

- Played badminton after such a long time and finally get to meet up with my good old high school friends :)

- Collected my RM 250 book voucher!

Yes!! I can go book shopping again!! Fees my cravings for books and now that I have the time to read.. It's a plus :)

- Went to the biggest ever clothes buffet in Malaysia :) the experience was great, but maybe coz I'm late the pieces that I got aren't so happening. Should have gone on Saturday! The pieces are so nice! And my goodness.. I missed the blowout sale -.- RM 10/pcs sia.. Anyway, too busy on Saturdays to go anywhere anyways haha 

This is how it works:

Pay RM 60 and whatever you can stuff into the bag, well it's practically yours, as long as you don't burst the bag. So I manage to stuff 7 pcs in my bag, which makes it aprox. < RM 10/pc .. Not bad la! I got a nice LBD summore. 

Mother's day is coming! And well look at what the kids are preparing for the upcoming Mother's day in church! So cute la.. But these balls of energy can sometimes be a handful.. Yell until sore throat already. But it's nice to see kids clinging unto you saying "teacher teacher sit with me!" and they quarrel to "own" you. Hahaha I feel so wanted :p 

It's a massive number of kids this year coz well.. CCC is huge too. So yea it's a challenge, but i believe they can pull through :)

Yup! So that basically sums up my week. Next on the list: Skytrex!

Nostalgia over reference books

Went to the bookshop today to look for teaching materials. Browsing through the rows and rows of SPM reference books brings me back to the memories of my high school days. Boy do I miss them. Taking up each book (chemistry, mathematics, history) reminds me of the times where I sit in school and mugged the subject. Looking through the books, I wondered why didn't I study harder last time, there were some things in there that I have yet to fully grasp the logic/meaning of it. Standing there, I found myself trying to solve the questions in the book. I actually fought the urge to buy those thick thick SPM reference books. I still remember last time our bags were so heavy solely because of the reference book we bring around. I always thought that having a few reference book of different subjects were cool. It's as if it portrays the image of intellectual intelligence (though sometimes it may not be that way lol) but yes I miss those days where reference book, note books and exercise books are sprawled all over the table. It's a beautiful mess.. Really! When I came to Uni, there were no such things as text books anymore. Everything were slides and print-out notes. We don't carry books anymore, and studying became a last minute affair. Pros and cons really, but I definitely miss those days where people would ponteng class to study and I would still faithfully come to class to study or meeting up at the TTDI library to "study" because do we really study? But most of the time I would study alone in the library, that's my way of studying ;) except for the 1 or 2 rendezvous with Houyi and the gang. Ah.. Good old times.. Or maybe I'm just unable to let go of the past :/ 

Simple things

One thing about working in a location such as KL Sentral is that I get the opportunity to witness the simple things in life through the life of others; and thats not all, I get all the opportunity to make a difference in the society. 

As we all know, KL sentral is a disabled friendly train station. Every once in a while I see people who are blind trying to get their way across the station and one random person would just go up to the person to offer their assistance. There's still hope in this world you know? ;) this act of kindness deserves a candid shot, that moment is really beautiful. 

Just yesterday, after work, I was waiting for my dad to pick me up from the other side of the station, and thats when I saw this couple, both blind finding their way across the station. It's literally the blind leading the blind, with the guy holding the hand of the lady and leading her across the station. Just a blind couple passing through right? No biggie! But what caught my attention was that though they were blind, they were happy. I admit stalking them for a bit coz I was a little afraid to approach them to guide them to their destination as I feared my dad would be arriving any time soon. So I just followed them behind to make sure they were ok. And there the guy was, chatting happily to the girl, leading the way as if he had sight. Their conversation was light and cheerful and I really admired them. It was like happiness doesn't have to come on the form of money nor having a fully able body, they were contented and happy with each other's company, and no disability could stop them. I finally got the guts to ask them if they needed help when they knocked into someone coming in the entrance. And the guy happily told me: " it's ok! We just have to walk straight and we will reach our destination" and continued to happily chat with the lady he was leading. A lesson learnt indeed :)

Oh and one thing about working in a location as such? I get braver and braver each day to approach a disabled person to offer my assistance when I get the opportunity. I get braver too to offer up my seat to deserving people on the LRT. I usually shy away or pretend not to see as I was so cowardly in the past. But I'm glad to say that it's different now, and I'm glad to see fellow Malaysians doing the same too. Though not many, but still, there is hope lol

Faith in humanity restored!

I just witness the most beautiful thing while I was out groceries shopping in my neighborhood grocers. A lady paid for a small carton of milk for a little boy in front of her. I think the story went a little along the lines of the mother couldn't pay for the milk therefore forgoing the milk at the counter. Then the lady who was next in line, paid for the milk and gave it to the boy without the mother realizing. The mother was so shock on how he got the milk and came back to the shop thinking the boy took it without paying and asked if the milk was paid for. Well it was fully paid, and the little boy was already in the midst of finishing the milk. 

That little scene there brought a smile to my face. That out of the robberies, rape and violence out there, there is still some kindness to be witness every day. It doesn't have to be a large sum of money nor a huge packet of something; all it takes was a humble box of 250ml milk carton to be a blessing, to put a smile on not only the little boy's face, but to his mother, the cashier, mine and everyone else who witnessed it. Am truly touched to be able to witness such occurrence. 

I've always wanted to do something like that, but I thought I would never be able to do it because I thought if I were to do something like that, I would have to go to a grocer where majority of the people are poverty stricken. But today just proves to me that we can be a blessing anywhere and everywhere we are. 

Suck. It. Up.

That has been my moto for the past 2 weeks. Suck it up. it really isn't my first time working, nor is it my first time doing an internship either, but this time round , it was definitely brought up a notch higher. Perhaps much was expected out  me, but I can only do so much. I'm still human afterall limited to 24 hours a day... it gets so overwhelming, I feel like running away sometimes. So much easier to run away than to face the problem heads on. This round of internship really taught me alot about myself as well as the working environment. How people scheme at the workplace...I could instantly feel that I'm still very green. I suppose everyone started off like me, but then others starts to take advantage of you and in the end even the most hardworking people gets tired and start to scheme to save their own butts. Oh wells, what can I do? I'm JUST A TRAINEE so yea...suck it up.

random thoughts

It's sad to see what society has become these days. Gone are the days where good Samaritans are willing to lend a hand to those in need. I don't blame them, coz there are many cases of good people lending a helping hand and then got themselves into trouble. Recently my friends has been sending SMS on cases like an Indian family, together with wife and baby, going round robbing people who would sympathize with them, asking for a ride under the rain, only to rob the person who offered to give them a lift. It's disgusting how these people can be so selfish, by exposing a young infant in the cold pouring rain to get sympathy votes to rob, and it's disgusting to know that these people would hurt another human being for their selfish gain. But then again, I also sympathize the people who rob, most of the time they need the money more than we do, though i hope the money stolen goes to good use and not to buy booze and drugs. Those who rob to survive in the city, to feed their families and send their children to school. I'm pretty sure they are scared too when they rob, coz if they don't fend for themselves, who will? and out of wedlock, they rob. I wonder, how can we make this world a better place? I wonder, if more people would just reach out to touch their lives, would this community be a better place to live in? I wonder.. if i will ever be able to reach out to these people.