My 30 Day Challenge to a Healthier Lifestyle

I've not been leading a healthy lifestyle ever since I left home. I realized how important a role of a mother is in ensuring the health of her family, and my mom...well she did that really well. Though she didn't have to make me breakfast or cook every meal for us coz I can do that on my own, but the simple act of getting the groceries done has such a huge impact. So this is my vow in the coming month, to lead a healthy lifestyle starting 1st May as I've realized I've been eating alot of fast food in the recent months. No good....no good....


No fast food for a month.
No soft drinks.
Breakfast every morning. (have been skipping breakfast ever since I came here)
At least 7 hours sleep (With so many things to do, not sure if this is possible, but it's a challenge right?)
More fruits, in fact go for fruit detox
At least 1 litre of water a day. (Too little as compared to the standard requirement, but I've been drinking even less than that)
Have 3 proper meals. (This is a challenge -.-)

My heart broke today

After teaching for 3 months +, I've suddenly noticed that my form 3 kids are rather illiterate. How could I have missed this? I was their teacher for 3+ months and I didn't realize this.

I was heart broken because this one boy who was chinese educated, didn't know much malay, who tries to come to my class even when all his friends abandons my class, couldn't read malay. Not only couldn't read, but simple suku kata of words were alien to him. I tried pronouncing the words for him slowly, but he still couldn't get the word. I had no choice but to spell out the word for him one-by-one.

I was heart broken because the students who I once thought were alright in that class, turns out to be illiterate as well. They could express their thoughts, they know the answers, but couldn't write it down on paper.

I was heart broken because the girls, didn't want to think, one question shot at them and their shoulders would shoot right up with a simple answer "tak tahu". I said something which I regret, something I would hate if a teacher would have said that to me, it slipped my tongue. "Kamu ni pun tak tahu baca ke?"

I was heart broken because I wanted to help them, but I don't know how. I want to teach them the basics of Malay, but it's not my area of expertise. I want to teach them Malay but I'm their Civics teacher. I want to teach them Civics but they don't turn up for my class with the already little contact hours I have with them.

I'm heart broken because I am only one person. I want to give them personal attention but each time I attend to a student, another student calls out for my attention. There are times I feel like tearing myself into many parts to attend to the needs of each student. So much I want to do, but I'm only one person. I'm limited to the time I have, limited to the energy I have before I burn out.....again.

How did these kids turn out the way they did? Reflecting on my life, I'm grateful to have parents who has the financial capabilities to push me through school with the aid of tuition. I wasn't any better in Add Maths, I wasn't even good in Accounts, I was failing Chemistry but because my parents are able, I manage to pull through secondary school. Without tuition, I wouldn't have gotten the results I got today. Little things that are taken for granted when I was a kid, things which felt like a right instead of a privilege are magnified today as I teach. I'm grateful for what I have.

I used to dread presentations back when I was in Uni. Thinking of the duration that a whole group must present (30 minutes) used to scare the living day lights out of me. Like what on earth are u suppose to talk about?! 

30 minutes used to scare me.

Now 40 minutes is not enough. I yearn for more time to teach my kids all they need to know, having a constant race against the bell. 

Last time: 30 minutes per group of 4

Now: 40-80 minutes 1 person

No wonder being a teacher actually practices your presentation skills. Just another way of looking at it ;)

Sharing a conversation with one of the students in school, reminded me of why I joined the movement in the first place. Interesting how an innocent conversation like that could be such an inspiration and a timely reminder to an everly complaining teacher like myself.

Among the questions asked by this curious kid was "Teacher, why do you want to become a teacher?" "Teacher, why did you come to Miri and of all places get placed in this school? This school is the worst school in Miri you know?" 

And there at the school field overlooking the school we had a sharing moment on why I choose to become a teacher even though I have a Degree in Hotel Management, on my decision for choosing Miri when I could stay at Semenanjung, on how even this is the worst school in Miri, but yet I still salute the school for giving kids a chance in education and my believe that every child has good in them, that they just don't know how to express themselves in a better manner. 

One thing I regret not telling this kid is that, I would rather choose to teach in this school than any other performing school in Miri. 

This picture below are my olahraga kids :) some of them, to be honest I concluded were naughty kids the moment I saw them (talk about face problem :p) but being their guru penasihat, watching them train each day for MSS Miri, and subsequently bringing them to the stadium to compete, it has given me a new perspective towards my kids. Seeing them train overtime, feeling disappointed over a race and subsequently seeing them beam with joy as they win a medal helps me to see that these kids do have a passion for something and are self motivated to achieve that goal. (If only they share the same passion for their academics) but yea it shows these kids have passion, and I plan to ignite that passion in them for their academics. They are not so problematic, indifferent and people who does not care after all. They are just like me and you :) 

                                                 

Interesting..

A very interesting perspective I've obtained by talking to a fellow collab today... 

Can you be everyone's hero? 

Imagine there are 2 buildings on fire, and in each building there is a baby, which baby would you save? 

You save one. 

You cannot save everyone, but it doesn't mean that you won't try. You can't put all the responsibility on yourself.. and it doesn't mean no one would save the other baby. 

Same goes for the classroom. Many days we come out of the classroom feeling defeated, but that doesn't mean that we don't try. Even if a handful of kids are willing to learn, we will teach them. Even if they don't score in your subject, doesn't mean that they won't score in their other subjects..someone else will save them too. 

Inspired 

Emotions on a roller coaster

It's weird how my body goes through a series of emotions in just a few hours. One moment I would be really optimistic on things that goes on in school and the next I would be having self-doubt and uncertainties and wondering if I can do what I've set out to do; thinking of the students who disappoint me and thinking how I've disappointed myself by not giving my best. All these emotions all packed up and rolled up all within the school day...

I find it fascinating that I'm aware of these emotions, it either used to cease to exist or I haven't put myself in such hot soup to experience emotions like these before 

Nevertheless. I'm glad for today.. Though there were self doubts, somehow entering my class gives me energy, especially the class I had today. One class was the class that I used to stand in front of their class just staring at them to shut up, but today class control was alright. The gangster kid in class now gangster his friends to shut up and listen to me, he used to ponteng class, but now makes an effort to come. Another class was my Siviks Luar Sidang class. In which I remember my first day having class with them, only a handful turned up. Today I almost have a full class.. Almost.. But yea, celebrate the little successes..though I hate teaching from the syllabus, coz it's so boring and does nothing to improve a person but I know the syllabus is there for a reason. Seeing my kids giving me their full attention as you're saying something important to them brings a smile to my face. Yesterday's lesson was a meaningful one, and though not many turned up. I'm glad that those who did gave me their full attention as I was explaining how a persons action can affect the dignity of the whole family, we later talked about smoking, and my kids were rather participative and reflective. Hoping to win my kid's heart one-by-one :)

Going against the current

I admire people who have their own set of principles, people who challenge the status quo and going against the flow. To be able to stand tall and say "No" takes courage. So many loopholes in the system, and if we just follow the flow of the system, then what makes us any different than the teachers who are already in the system. It's a tough decision for me to make as I am the type that follows structure really well. Wish I had been the dare devil kid back in high school, then probably this decision wouldn't be an obstacle at all. People who are fearless and adaptable get my respect *salute* and though they are the "naughty" ones in school, they tend to be the more "successful" ones in the future especially in business coz of their dare to try attitude.

On  a hunt looking for that sweet spot outside of my comfort zone....