Emotions on a roller coaster

It's weird how my body goes through a series of emotions in just a few hours. One moment I would be really optimistic on things that goes on in school and the next I would be having self-doubt and uncertainties and wondering if I can do what I've set out to do; thinking of the students who disappoint me and thinking how I've disappointed myself by not giving my best. All these emotions all packed up and rolled up all within the school day...

I find it fascinating that I'm aware of these emotions, it either used to cease to exist or I haven't put myself in such hot soup to experience emotions like these before 

Nevertheless. I'm glad for today.. Though there were self doubts, somehow entering my class gives me energy, especially the class I had today. One class was the class that I used to stand in front of their class just staring at them to shut up, but today class control was alright. The gangster kid in class now gangster his friends to shut up and listen to me, he used to ponteng class, but now makes an effort to come. Another class was my Siviks Luar Sidang class. In which I remember my first day having class with them, only a handful turned up. Today I almost have a full class.. Almost.. But yea, celebrate the little successes..though I hate teaching from the syllabus, coz it's so boring and does nothing to improve a person but I know the syllabus is there for a reason. Seeing my kids giving me their full attention as you're saying something important to them brings a smile to my face. Yesterday's lesson was a meaningful one, and though not many turned up. I'm glad that those who did gave me their full attention as I was explaining how a persons action can affect the dignity of the whole family, we later talked about smoking, and my kids were rather participative and reflective. Hoping to win my kid's heart one-by-one :)