Interesting..

A very interesting perspective I've obtained by talking to a fellow collab today... 

Can you be everyone's hero? 

Imagine there are 2 buildings on fire, and in each building there is a baby, which baby would you save? 

You save one. 

You cannot save everyone, but it doesn't mean that you won't try. You can't put all the responsibility on yourself.. and it doesn't mean no one would save the other baby. 

Same goes for the classroom. Many days we come out of the classroom feeling defeated, but that doesn't mean that we don't try. Even if a handful of kids are willing to learn, we will teach them. Even if they don't score in your subject, doesn't mean that they won't score in their other subjects..someone else will save them too. 

Inspired 

Emotions on a roller coaster

It's weird how my body goes through a series of emotions in just a few hours. One moment I would be really optimistic on things that goes on in school and the next I would be having self-doubt and uncertainties and wondering if I can do what I've set out to do; thinking of the students who disappoint me and thinking how I've disappointed myself by not giving my best. All these emotions all packed up and rolled up all within the school day...

I find it fascinating that I'm aware of these emotions, it either used to cease to exist or I haven't put myself in such hot soup to experience emotions like these before 

Nevertheless. I'm glad for today.. Though there were self doubts, somehow entering my class gives me energy, especially the class I had today. One class was the class that I used to stand in front of their class just staring at them to shut up, but today class control was alright. The gangster kid in class now gangster his friends to shut up and listen to me, he used to ponteng class, but now makes an effort to come. Another class was my Siviks Luar Sidang class. In which I remember my first day having class with them, only a handful turned up. Today I almost have a full class.. Almost.. But yea, celebrate the little successes..though I hate teaching from the syllabus, coz it's so boring and does nothing to improve a person but I know the syllabus is there for a reason. Seeing my kids giving me their full attention as you're saying something important to them brings a smile to my face. Yesterday's lesson was a meaningful one, and though not many turned up. I'm glad that those who did gave me their full attention as I was explaining how a persons action can affect the dignity of the whole family, we later talked about smoking, and my kids were rather participative and reflective. Hoping to win my kid's heart one-by-one :)

Going against the current

I admire people who have their own set of principles, people who challenge the status quo and going against the flow. To be able to stand tall and say "No" takes courage. So many loopholes in the system, and if we just follow the flow of the system, then what makes us any different than the teachers who are already in the system. It's a tough decision for me to make as I am the type that follows structure really well. Wish I had been the dare devil kid back in high school, then probably this decision wouldn't be an obstacle at all. People who are fearless and adaptable get my respect *salute* and though they are the "naughty" ones in school, they tend to be the more "successful" ones in the future especially in business coz of their dare to try attitude.

On  a hunt looking for that sweet spot outside of my comfort zone....